"you must conquer your fears."

your life expands or shrinks based on how you directly manage to face and conquer your fears. if you decide to run and hide from your fears you will find short term gain; this gain, however, will come at the expense of a purpose-filled life. if you decide to face your fears, acknowledge them and then take them head -on you will live a wonderful, magnificent life. in short, the answer is very simple: the choice is to face your fears and conquer them!

fear attracts fear. the more we fear something the more it becomes alive and real in our lives. similar to chinese handcuffs, the harder we pull away to free ourselves, the harder they grip. the more we ignore fear, the stronger it is magnified. the longer we run and hide from fear, the greater power we give to it. even worse when we continually fear something we actually create it so that it becomes real in our lives.

when we run and hide, fear does not go away, rather, it continually lurks and waits for us to stick our head out. fear slowly and unconsciously eats away at your life until you become numb. sounds like a bum deal huh...?

whether we like it or not, we attract or move towards what we think about, whether it is good for us or not. fear resides in every person on this planet. some people manage to control these fears whereas others let their fears control them. the good news is that these fears are conquerable…for each and everyone of us! we just need the right tools to be able to conquer these fears.

one thing to recognize is that fears never really go away. we all have them and we always will. the key is to contain them. to manage them, if you will, and not let them run your life. to do this you must never let your fears talk to you; rather, you must talk to your fears. to acknowledge that they exist in your life, to look at them squarely in the eye and accept them for what they are. to actually make friends with them.

you must talk to your fears, never them talk to you.

a good example of this might be a public speaking situation. (actually fear speaking in front of large crowds is the number one fear most people have). one might ask what is the best way to tackle this fear? as i had stated above the answer should be clear.

you guessed it... there is only one way conquer to fear and that is look at it smack in the eye and address it. to answer the question of how to conquer the fear of public speaking: go speak in public…over and over again; that is the only way you will begin to manage your fear of it.

now that being said that is the end result. you must strategize and figure out: what is the best way that i can get to the point where i feel comfortable speaking in public?

this doesn’t mean that you have to jump in right away and start to present in front of an audience of 200 people... take baby steps... take a course in public speaking, practice in front of a mirror, in fact the best way to present is to be fully prepared for the presentation (but that is another story in and of itself). take acting class... this is a great way to get in front of people.

another good approach is to try and put a label on (or personify) your fears. imagine them as something right next to you (not within you) and that you are talking to it, telling it that you will take care of it and love it. when you separate the fear from you, it becomes a tangible object that can be dealt with and handled.

i believe this is why we admire people who are in the spotlight such as politicians, actors, professional athletes etc... because they remind us of the courage that is in all of us. we see ourselves in them. they are teachers in a way. their vulnerabilities are our vulnerabilities yet somehow they manage to conquer them... they set examples for us that we too can accomplish anything when one conquers his/hers fears. they are our role models who teach us that we too have the power to conquer fears.

but remember…to accomplish anything significant in life you must conquer your fears.either fear controls your life or you control fear ... there is no middle ground!

below are some steps you can take to help conquer your fears!

i) realize you are not alone with fears – everyone has them.
ii) try to put a label on these fears and accept them and love them 
iii) do extra curricular activities to vent your fears - i.e. (sports, music, hobbies)
iv) find a support group (religious and/or spiritual groups etc...) to bring you closer to our source.
v) diet and eat well - stay fit – this will give you confidence. 
vi) seek professional help if needed 
vii) get involved with community, special-interest groups, anything to help balance your life. 
viii) continually be grateful everyday for what you have. every morning wake up and say, “thank you” ... in time this will work wonders into your life
ix) work on your breathing.... seek out yoga centers, meditation centers... anything that gets you out of your mind and more grounded.